Let’s find out which Hogwarts house is the best. What? You expected some sort of a subtle introduction to this article? The subject matter we are going to tackle has the potential to start a major online war. So, why waste time and beat around the bush when subtlety is not even an option?
Imagine you’ve got your owl mail, you found your way through the brick wall and onto the magic platform. Now, you’re sitting in the Hogwarts main hall, waiting for the Sorting Hat to plop on your head!
Which house would you ask to be sorted into? What’s that? That’s not how the Sorting Hat works? Well, Harry Potter specifically asked not to be sorted into Slytherin and got his wish granted, so why shouldn’t it work for you as well?
Going back to where we started off, let’s find out which Hogwarts house is the best to be sorted into.
If we’re completely honest, we don’t know much about Ravenclaw. Its members are supposed to be clever but so is Hermione.
Also, being clever implies so many different things. We are not even going to start discussing it here, let’s leave it to psychology textbooks.
No matter how much it pains us, there’s one thing we have to admit.
Both Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were created as a backdrop for the drama unfolding between Gryffindor and Slytherin because having a school with just two houses would have been rather weird.
Cons: nobody really knows you.
Pros: Ravenclaw common room is located in a tower, so the views must be stunning.
Where in the process of evolution did we as a society develop to portray an average Hufflepuff as this naive, too-kind-for-their-own-good simpleton?
I mean, have you seen Cedric Diggory? And I’m not even talking about Robert Pattinson (though yes, have you seen Robert Pattinson?).
Similar to Ravenclaw, we don’t know much about life in Hufflepuff, apart from their collective (?) fascination with botany and herbology.
Hufflepuff common room is located in the basement next to the kitchen—though I highly doubt you would have any time to get hungry between meals in Hogwarts. Duh? With all that food they serve every single time! But, if by any chance you need a midnight snack, some munchies are always at hand.
Cons: patronizing behavior from others because they consider you to be naïve.
Pros: spending lots of time outdoors in fresh air, tending to plants.
Slytherin is in need of some serious rebranding.
Being placed into Slytherin essentially means being labelled as evil. No one is evil at eleven!
On the other hand, most tweens are very susceptive to environment. And what environment do they get in Slytherin? Right, living in the dungeons.
In the Highlands of Scotland where the average summer (!) temperature is 13°C. That definitely helps to develop a sunny and positive personality, sounds just about right.
And while houses are not necessarily hereditary (yes, yes, we remember the Patil twins), most Slytherin kids come from families that also studied in Slytherin. That’s like setting someone up to become evil!
Cons: tarnished reputation, probably for life.
Pros: house colors, green and silver, are pretty fashionable. Also, a lot of Slytherin parents seem okay with including you into adult activities.
Ah, you say, here comes the good stuff. It’s the Gryffindor, the best house every child dreams of being in!
And here I want to ask you—is it though?
Are we sure Gryffindor is so good for your health? Every time the world is in danger—from localized inconvenience to mortal peril—everyone’s head is turned to you. While you are just a teenager who wants to finish your homework and go do normal teenage stuff.
To enter your common room, you need to pass through a painting, and Merlin forbid you forgot the weekly password!
Those of you who work in an office with strict security policy know exactly the nightmare of changing your network password every couple of months. Except in Hogwarts this means you’ll have to sleep in the halls.
Adventures you’ll get yourself into by default will be pretty epic though, we have to admit that!
Cons: your survival is highly doubtful.
Pros: you do get lots of attention, so if being in the limelight is your thing, go for it.